| so the weekend was pretty much gay i worked all weekend. This week i work tonight, tomorrow and saturday so that's good that i have some days off.
so far todayyy
B-apple(80)
lunch-water(0)
D-dinner provided by work. it was chicken and a baked potato(?)
Total: 80 + dinner
exercise:
treadmill(-300)
work(-?)
so i finally got the courage to weigh myself last night and the results were disgusting. 125. that's like a 15 pound gain in 4 months. that's just ew. ew ew ew. i hate myself for gaining so much when i should have lost 15 instead of gained....that's what i get for slacking...no more slackingg.
i hate mondays. hope everyone is having a good day though.<3
p.s. i really don't have time to comment right now cause i'm gonna go run before i go to work so sorry i'll try to comment when i get home tonight..if not i'll try for tomorrow.
so i ran before work but i didn't have much time but 300 is still better than nothing. dinner yeah but i can't skip that or else everyone at work would be like questioning why i wasn't eating. chickens healthy anyways so i'm like whatever.
time for homework and bed. god i'm so tired.
i would pretty much kill for that bodyy.
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| this whole working almost everyday thing is starting to get on my nerves.
B-apple(80)
L-nothing(0)
D-salad(?)
total: 80Calories
not really anything to say..i'm bored though i need to find something to do...i think i might clean my room cause it's pretty bad in here. hah i'll be back later<3
yeah so he has a new girlfriend now:( it kind of hurts cause like we just broke up ok i guess not but kinda and he's already forgot about me...i need to get over him as fast as he got over me....this is why i don't date cause i always fall harder than him and then i end up hurt...i just want to find a guy not like the rest...he was by far the worst guy i've ever met.whatever it's over i need to get over it.
ergg and she's like sooo much more prettier than me...she has an xanga actually and it has pictures of her and him...i would put the link up for it but i'd be afriad someone would say something to her about me and i don't want her to know about me and ruin anything between those two. i want him to be happy...i really hope he treats her better than he treated me cause no one deserves to be treated the way i was.
ok goodnight i'm going to bed</3
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| ok new layout=ready to become perfection..today was ehh ok nothing amazing but nothing terrible. weekend was gayy i worked the whole time.
i'll have a real update tomorrow. just wanted to say hi after i made my new layout:)
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| B-apple(80)
L-PP&J(?) milk(90)
D-hopefully nothing
so i got out of eating dinner with the family last night:) and i tried to get out of lunch by saying i had no money cause my wallet was stolen but my friend gave me her extra PB&J AND she bought me a milk....errr err i need to start getting up earlier so i can pack my own lunch again.
i have work tonight..i was not suppose to have work but he called and was like we really need you tonight can you work....soo there goes my plans for the weekend cause i was going to clean and organize my room tonight so i could be ungrounded and hang out with friends after work tomorrow night but now i can't clean my room. which means i'm still grounded...and i still haven't been able to find my wallet i've searched my house, my friends house, the party we were at the night before. everywhere..yay life sucks..and i'm fat hah life is greatttttttt
someone please just shoot me..i'd be happier if i weighed 15-20lbs less..i'd be happy with that and that's not even that low of a weight change.
alright gotta go get ready for wonderful work.
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| b-apple(80)
L-tuna sandwich thing(?)
D-planning on nothing.gonna try my best to skip dinner.(sleep through it)
school sucks..i hate it..i wish i could be like home schooled..it has nothing to do with the people really. i love my friends but teachers just get to me. and i hate having to try to make myself look good everyday just so i can fail cause i always look like shit...yeahh
i didn't have time to pack my lunch this morning so i had to buy lunch..whatever it's not that big of deal as long as i don't eat dinner i'll be fine..
yeah so i'm a major fatty now..like i've gained at least 10lbs since summer..that damn birth control pill i quit taking it..they were like yeah it makes you gain weight so i was like fuck this i'm done...i don't have a boyfriend anymore anyways so i really don't need them.
and i moved to the other side of the house 2 weeks ago so my treadmill is like in storage so running equals not been happening for me at this moment..so i have to start restricting extra hard if i want to look decent for Thanksgiving..and i have to cause the whole family comes into to town and they always comment on how you look...and if you look good you get a wow you look great you've lost a lot of weight and if you look bad they don't say anything at all about your body and just start the small talk with school and such....so i have to look good.
alright that's about all my venting for now.
hope everyone has a good day<3
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